We
laughed together. This is what I like to remember.
I loved it when you came to my house and we passed
hours giving each other a massage, having a warm bath together, or
making love. I loved it when you were soft and your kiss tasted of
love, and when you took me and made me experience the wildest side of
my human nature. I loved it when we would play-fight and giggle and
laugh until our stomachs ached and we collapsed in embrace. I loved
it when I would go run an errand and come home to find you at the
cooker, making us a dinner, and then we would talk for hours about
anything under the sun.
And
sometimes it tasted bitter too, and tears would crawl across my face
while your frustration would vent in anger. We might have fought back
in anger, but really we were covering the sadness that we were not
loving each other, and being loved.
And
our own pain made us forget what we could give to each other.
And
now our ways are parted.
Although
it might appear easier to forget the sweet memories and just feel the
relief of no more bitter emotions, I prefer to remember the times
when we shared such beautiful energy and connection. I feel grateful
for the whole experience I was able to share with you and it makes
every tear worth having fallen because I cannot separate the
desireable from the undesireable... it was all part of knowing you
and sharing with you, and you remain special to me.
It
is a beautiful gift to be able to remember you in this way, and it is
possible only because of the connection we share and how much
affection we continue to feel for each other.
I
miss you, and I know you miss me too, however letting go of each
other was itself an act of love: for love of our selves as for love of the other. We have been a remarkable
reflection for each other, and now it is time to find the love in
ourselves that we were searching for in the other, for only when we truly have love can we truly share it.
In
this part of our journeys, while we walk separate paths that may lead us afar, may our hearts remain warm with sweet
thoughts of each other. When we long for each other we can connect to
the warmth of the experience we shared and the gratitude of how we
have grown together because of it, and bless each other's course in life as we are blessed by a trust that if,
by Grace, there is more we will to share in the course of time, then
it shall Be.
Well-wisher,
friend, lover... whichever one the future holds for us, we can smile
in the knowledge that after all is said and done, in some way I love
you (and you love me too).
