Love Letter

We laughed together. This is what I like to remember.

I loved it when you came to my house and we passed hours giving each other a massage, having a warm bath together, or making love. I loved it when you were soft and your kiss tasted of love, and when you took me and made me experience the wildest side of my human nature. I loved it when we would play-fight and giggle and laugh until our stomachs ached and we collapsed in embrace. I loved it when I would go run an errand and come home to find you at the cooker, making us a dinner, and then we would talk for hours about anything under the sun.

And sometimes it tasted bitter too, and tears would crawl across my face while your frustration would vent in anger. We might have fought back in anger, but really we were covering the sadness that we were not loving each other, and being loved.

And our own pain made us forget what we could give to each other.

And now our ways are parted.

Although it might appear easier to forget the sweet memories and just feel the relief of no more bitter emotions, I prefer to remember the times when we shared such beautiful energy and connection. I feel grateful for the whole experience I was able to share with you and it makes every tear worth having fallen because I cannot separate the desireable from the undesireable... it was all part of knowing you and sharing with you, and you remain special to me.

It is a beautiful gift to be able to remember you in this way, and it is possible only because of the connection we share and how much affection we continue to feel for each other.

I miss you, and I know you miss me too, however letting go of each other was itself an act of love: for love of our selves as for love of the other. We have been a remarkable reflection for each other, and now it is time to find the love in ourselves that we were searching for in the other, for only when we truly have love can we truly share it.

In this part of our journeys, while we walk separate paths that may lead us afar, may our hearts remain warm with sweet thoughts of each other. When we long for each other we can connect to the warmth of the experience we shared and the gratitude of how we have grown together because of it, and bless each other's course in life as we are blessed by a trust that if, by Grace, there is more we will to share in the course of time, then it shall Be.

Well-wisher, friend, lover... whichever one the future holds for us, we can smile in the knowledge that after all is said and done, in some way I love you (and you love me too).  

Look into my eyes...

Let me enter the gates of your soul
And see you naked in every sense;
Let me witness your raw essence
With full awareness and presence.

I want to learn what makes you fly,
Your joys, your fears, what makes you cry.
Of me, those things may you discover -
No need to hide in any lie.

I long to trust and feel trusted;
Communication transparent;
Deep authentic experiences;
Understanding, respect, acceptance.

To know real love, spiritual love.

No "ever after" guarantee -
Just allow a deep connection be;
Discover ourselves intensely
And leave the dark... our light to see.

The journey is so beautiful;
Destination doesn't matter.

Let me enter the gates of your soul...

Who am I?

How wonderful it is to drop our self-image, all those things that give us a sense of identity. It opens up an infinite world of possibilities, so much to play with! 

Like an actor in the play of life, I can take on any role according to whim, without compromising who I really am, because who I really am has nothing to do with what I wear, what music I listen to and which places I hang out at and with whom... and everything to do with my sense of being a soul having a human experience, with gratitude and compassion. 

Which Mali will you be meeting today? Spiritual-Yoga-Meditation-Hare Krishna Mali? Sexy Salsa Mali? Psy-Trance Mali? Outdoor Adventures Mali? Holistic Therapist Mali? Marketing Executive Mali? Bohemian Artist/Writer Mali? Travelling Hippy Mali? 

The list goes on and oooooh it's so much fun... !!! 

Energy Bubble

I know exactly how I'm feeling but I dont know exactly what you're feeling, I'm just guessing... and when I am sending that energy signal based on my guess, your reaction, body language and words are received and interpreted by me so that is creating another thought impulse, electricity, energy...

And all the while, at the same time, you are having your own experience on your end, you are experiencing your own reality, your own interpretation of what is, so that what is being created between us is an electrical vibe, a ball of energy which is powered by positive or negative charge depending on our positive or negative thoughts...



And so our shared experience created by our interaction as a pair is the relationship we have, and we create it by our own thoughts - our own understanding, our own creativity, our own experience - in every moment.

I am aware that I am always, solely and completely, responsible for my thoughts and emotions and the vibes I create, and you yours, and together, we ours...

So if we can be aware of this, if at any moment one of us slips into a negative ego, and it is going a way that does not feel good, we can change it in an instant, just by a change of mind... it can be that easy, that simple.

It is that easy and that simple.

What I think, so I create, moment by moment.

All Risk, No Gain

Only when faced with the critical decision of 'All risk, No gain' does the degree of love and dedication become apparant.

I surprise even myself by how much I love you.

For you I may lose my reputation, and the affection of my family and those I have considered my friends. The place I have considered my home may thus become estranged to me. But none of it really matters. All I care about is that I should not see a frown on your beautiful, moon-like face.

I stand to lose everything to provide what you require. I am willing to make this sacrifice without a moment's consideration; there is no question - if this is the necessity, I consider it my duty and I will execute it with my deepest affection and without a tinge of remorse. Whatever I should stand to lose, it is actually worthless, because you are my all in all.

But if in trying to serve you I also stand to lose your affection? Then still I must make my attempt to serve your benefit, though I may die of a broken heart in the process.

Mother and child; Romeo and Juliet; Guru and disciple; God and devotee... untainted love.

In Indian tradition we give honour by placing our head at the feet of a respected person, whereas placing our own feet over the head of a person is considered an offense to them. The Vedic scriptures utilise this custom to present some fine examples of the highest degrees of self-forgetfulness in the name of love, the highest spiritual ideal.

In the Srimad Bhagavatam we find the Supreme Lord Krsna as a cowherd boy, feigning a headache. He is claiming that only the footdust of his devotees can cure him. Nobody wants to offer their footdust for Krsna's head, fearing eternal hell as a result of this great offensive action. But the Braja-Gopis, the milk damsels, do not care for that, "We do not know if we are devotees, but take it!" Their only consideration is that their beloved Krishna's headache is gone and that he is feeling happy again.

Again in the Chaitanya Charitamrta we find that when the golden Avatar Sri Chaitanya Mahaprabhu fell asleep in the doorway, his personal servant Govinda stepped over his Lord to massage his feet and thus render service, but not again to leave the room in order to appease his own hunger and satisfy his tongue and belly.

We are as safe as we are sincere... because love is above mercy, and mercy is above justice. And true Love knows no separate, localised interest.

Action vs Intention

My brother-in-law was telling a story from his younger days, how when an old friend had playfully pretended to hit him, his reflex led him to jerk forward, into a metal frame that cut straight into his shoulder, resulting in 40 stitches. It was meant to be a joke, but it was months before that shoulder was functioning as it should.

It was all over the news just recently. A 21-year-old drink-driver ran over a cyclist on his early morning training, killing him on the spot. It was only meant to be a regular night out having fun, perhaps a little too much too drink, now a husband and father of three is dead.

Action vs intention... what causes the rift? Mindlessness: impulsive behaviour without due consideration of consequence.

So valuable a lesson, to be mindful, always; to be conscious, ALWAYS.

I am thankful my own recent reminder was received without too much repercussion, but may I always be so lucky?

Freedom!

"I am free to express myself!"

"I am free to wear what I want!"

"I am free to do as I like!"

But where is freedom to be found here?

Could this, perhaps, actually translate as slavery to the need for self-identification, desire and sense-gratification?

Could there be more freedom in the absence of this need?

How about...

"It doesn't matter whether I get an opportunity to express myself or not, because I feel complete and fulfilled anyway."

"What I wear no longer affects how I feel about myself. And I am not concerned about others' perception of me."

"I am equally satisfied while fulfilling your wishes rather than mine, and while working or playing."

"It is not a matter that I am not free to do that, but rather I am free from the desire, or the need, to do it."

This is not suggesting annihilation of personality, rather equanimity in all situations presented before a person.

This is true freedom: freedom to be fully active without the sense of necessity or attachment.

In reflecting upon this point, I dug into the timeless wisdom of the Srimad Bhagavad Gita, ancient Vedic text, and decided to share some of it here:

2:15
yam hi na vyathayanty ete, purusam purusarsabha
sama-duhkha-sukham dhiram, so ’mrtatvaya kalpate

O noblest of men, the wise man who is equipoised in pleasure and pain, and undisturbed by sense-experiences, is alone qualified for immortality.

2:64
raga-dvesa-vimuktais tu, visayan indriyais charan
atma-vasyair vidheyatma, prasadam adhigachchhati

The integrated person who can control his mind at will, and who, free from attraction and repulsion, accepts his worldly necessities through his controlled senses, attains tranquillity.

3:19

tasmad asaktah satatam, karyam karma samachara
asakto hy acharan karma, param apnoti purusah

So perform your prescribed duties without attachment. By selflessly executing one’s duties a person attains liberation. (True liberation is the state of pure devotion, attained in the maturity of selfless action.)

6:8
jnana-vijnana-trptatma,kuta-stho vijitendriyah
yukta ity ucyate yogi,sama-lostrasma-kancanah

One who is always satisfied within by both knowledge and realisation, who is always fixed in his spiritual nature, who is sense-controlled and who has the vision of equality for a clod of earth, a rock, or gold—it is said that such a person has attained yoga.

Communication

People may utter the same words in the same tongue, yet they will rarely be speaking the same language!

"Five fingers in hand are not same," says an old Indian proverb. Five artists will never paint the same picture of a still-life and five witnesses will never tell the same story.

It all depends on the angle of vision.

Similarly, a string of words could mean almost anything; behaviour can be understood any which way - depending on the interpreter, each of who is unique!

So God help us in this ocean of misunderstanding!

No wonder it is said that we live in Maya, illusion, which if properly translated from Sanskrit literally means, THAT WHICH IS NOT!

So to overcome illusion would mean the ability to experience Truth: plain, unadulterated and absolute Truth.

But our ego, the "I, Me and Mine," likes a dance with separate-interest....

If only the thought, the word and the action could be just Truth! Truth! Truth!

: TRUTH... ETERNALLY... BLISS!!!