Love Letter

We laughed together. This is what I like to remember.

I loved it when you came to my house and we passed hours giving each other a massage, having a warm bath together, or making love. I loved it when you were soft and your kiss tasted of love, and when you took me and made me experience the wildest side of my human nature. I loved it when we would play-fight and giggle and laugh until our stomachs ached and we collapsed in embrace. I loved it when I would go run an errand and come home to find you at the cooker, making us a dinner, and then we would talk for hours about anything under the sun.

And sometimes it tasted bitter too, and tears would crawl across my face while your frustration would vent in anger. We might have fought back in anger, but really we were covering the sadness that we were not loving each other, and being loved.

And our own pain made us forget what we could give to each other.

And now our ways are parted.

Although it might appear easier to forget the sweet memories and just feel the relief of no more bitter emotions, I prefer to remember the times when we shared such beautiful energy and connection. I feel grateful for the whole experience I was able to share with you and it makes every tear worth having fallen because I cannot separate the desireable from the undesireable... it was all part of knowing you and sharing with you, and you remain special to me.

It is a beautiful gift to be able to remember you in this way, and it is possible only because of the connection we share and how much affection we continue to feel for each other.

I miss you, and I know you miss me too, however letting go of each other was itself an act of love: for love of our selves as for love of the other. We have been a remarkable reflection for each other, and now it is time to find the love in ourselves that we were searching for in the other, for only when we truly have love can we truly share it.

In this part of our journeys, while we walk separate paths that may lead us afar, may our hearts remain warm with sweet thoughts of each other. When we long for each other we can connect to the warmth of the experience we shared and the gratitude of how we have grown together because of it, and bless each other's course in life as we are blessed by a trust that if, by Grace, there is more we will to share in the course of time, then it shall Be.

Well-wisher, friend, lover... whichever one the future holds for us, we can smile in the knowledge that after all is said and done, in some way I love you (and you love me too).  

Look into my eyes...

Let me enter the gates of your soul
And see you naked in every sense;
Let me witness your raw essence
With full awareness and presence.

I want to learn what makes you fly,
Your joys, your fears, what makes you cry.
Of me, those things may you discover -
No need to hide in any lie.

I long to trust and feel trusted;
Communication transparent;
Deep authentic experiences;
Understanding, respect, acceptance.

To know real love, spiritual love.

No "ever after" guarantee -
Just allow a deep connection be;
Discover ourselves intensely
And leave the dark... our light to see.

The journey is so beautiful;
Destination doesn't matter.

Let me enter the gates of your soul...

Just a day at the beach...

Marvelled at Nature's greatness seen in blades of grass growing on a rock - how did it root; how does it get nourished?

Was hypnotised by the infinite colours displayed in the "brown" rock, accentuated by the sheen of water spray... then by the forms sculpted by the same water, so fluid yet so forceful.

Picked some crystals off the rock... they grow the same as the grass?

And enjoyed a much-needed dip in the sea, played with sand, looked down crab holes, saw the sun turn into a red ball and disappear into the distant mist.

Life is most beautiful in its simplicity.

Made friends with the bus-driver, had dinner with strangers-cum-friends in a "real restaurant in town," then sat on the roof of our house talking about life and living and alternative realities.

A soul having a human experience.

May I remember more often to take the time to notice even just a few of Life's millions of miracles that are happening at every moment....

04.04.10
Adikadalai Beach,
d/o Kannur
Malabar, Kerala
South India

Nataraj Ananda Tandava

If I can't see
The Universe inside of Me,
Still I know it's there...
I've heard that somewhere,
And there were moments when I could feel it.

When I see you
I see It shining in your eyes;
See through Its disguise -
Undressed of illusion,
The Self is awake in a fresh, new dawn.

In this moment,
The marriage of Past and Present,
We draw the Future -
Select the colour
From the palette of possibility...

Then dance with love!
The sounds are coming from above;
Coming from within.
Flute notes emerge from AUM...
Observe the Great Dancer perform!

Oh dance in love!
Witness joy united as One
Though we're not the same.
Yet it's just a game -
The dance and Dancer are inseparable.

Microcosmic dances, a variety,
Expressing unity in diversity
Within the Absolute Choreography.

By Melanie Drury

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Fritzof Capra beautifully relates Nataraj's dance with modern physics in his article The Dance of Shiva: The Hindu View of Matter in the Light of Modern Physics, and then in The Tao of Physics.

He says, "Every subatomic particle not only performs an energy dance, but also is an energy dance; a pulsating process of creation and destruction... without end. For the modern physicists, Shiva's dance is the dance of subatomic matter. As in Hindu mythology, it is a continual dance of creation and destruction involving the whole cosmos; the basis of all existence and of all natural phenomena."

Exploring a deeper understanding of quantum theory, in TheBigView it is told:

"In quantum physics the observer is no longer external and neutral, but by choosing what to observe in a given experiment, will effect the results of the experiment. Through the act of measurement he becomes himself a part of observed reality. This marks the end of the neutrality of the experimenter.

"Heisenberg believes that reality is what can be observed - if there are different observations, there must be different realities, which depend on the observer. Meanwhile, Einstein clearly believes in a reality independent of what we can observe. This supports philosopher Kant's view that, 'Reality is by itself and for itself.'

"Contemplating the subatomic realm seems like a Zen exercise. We have to realise that in spite of the different parts and components, the subatomic world in actuality is an undivided whole, where even the boundary between the observer and the observed is blurred. Object and subject have become inseparable, spatial and temporal detachment is an illusion.

"All things are intertwined and interdependent to an unfathomable degree, just as the particles in an atom are. Although the electrons in an atom can be thought of as individual particles, they are not really individual particles, because of the complicated wave relations that exist between them... thus, in the multiplicity of things there is unity."

And what are we, but subatomic particles of the Greater One, moving together in a Divine Dance?

Riding the Wave

My friend welcomed me with a kiss on each cheek.

"Wow, this is great! I'm so happy to see you are so busy!" I said, eyes wide.

"Amazing! Just as we had decided to quit and move location, there was an explosion! You let it go and then it comes to you with a boom!" He looked at me meaningfully, "Isn't everything like that?!"

"Indeed!" I smiled, patting him on the back and urging him to carry on. Although I had not seen my friend for a while, busy as he had been in pursuing his goal, I did not wish to steal his attention. I stood aside and observed, deeply pleased.

Let go of it then it's there. Relax about it and then just catch it when it happens. Because by pushing too hard we push it away!

Repeatedly I have experienced that, when desires for results come to a standstill, when we cease forcibly trying to control the environment, when we surrender to the natural, mystic flow... things begin to happen such that it serves our favour.

Not to mean we should sit idly, waiting for things to happen, but rather, like a surfer, to catch the wave and ride it where it takes us instead of swimming against the current to be tossed and turned in the crashing waves.

Hence the new-age slogan, BE HERE NOW (!!!) It may be a cliche', but it holds truth.

Yet too often we are not content... always looking beyond, afar, for more, for something different!

And so easily we can forget to be grateful when our wishes have been fulfilled... and take it all for granted. So fickle is the mind that before we know it, we may begin to desire yet another different situation!

If work is slow, we may desire more custom, yet if it is busy, we may wish to take it easy. If we are single, we may want a partner, yet if we are engaged, we may crave some freedom. In a world of duality, all situations have their positive and negative aspects. And if we are experiencing one situation, it seems that we naturally hanker for an alternative situation, hoping the grass is greener on the other side!

Ultimately I should ask myself, why do I need to experience this? Perhaps I simply need to realise that nothing can give complete, fulfilling happiness in this world, because it all comes at a price and everything is temporary.

The fact is that seldom do we realise just how perfect our present situation is - that it was just what we needed to live through - until it is gone!