Love Letter

We laughed together. This is what I like to remember.

I loved it when you came to my house and we passed hours giving each other a massage, having a warm bath together, or making love. I loved it when you were soft and your kiss tasted of love, and when you took me and made me experience the wildest side of my human nature. I loved it when we would play-fight and giggle and laugh until our stomachs ached and we collapsed in embrace. I loved it when I would go run an errand and come home to find you at the cooker, making us a dinner, and then we would talk for hours about anything under the sun.

And sometimes it tasted bitter too, and tears would crawl across my face while your frustration would vent in anger. We might have fought back in anger, but really we were covering the sadness that we were not loving each other, and being loved.

And our own pain made us forget what we could give to each other.

And now our ways are parted.

Although it might appear easier to forget the sweet memories and just feel the relief of no more bitter emotions, I prefer to remember the times when we shared such beautiful energy and connection. I feel grateful for the whole experience I was able to share with you and it makes every tear worth having fallen because I cannot separate the desireable from the undesireable... it was all part of knowing you and sharing with you, and you remain special to me.

It is a beautiful gift to be able to remember you in this way, and it is possible only because of the connection we share and how much affection we continue to feel for each other.

I miss you, and I know you miss me too, however letting go of each other was itself an act of love: for love of our selves as for love of the other. We have been a remarkable reflection for each other, and now it is time to find the love in ourselves that we were searching for in the other, for only when we truly have love can we truly share it.

In this part of our journeys, while we walk separate paths that may lead us afar, may our hearts remain warm with sweet thoughts of each other. When we long for each other we can connect to the warmth of the experience we shared and the gratitude of how we have grown together because of it, and bless each other's course in life as we are blessed by a trust that if, by Grace, there is more we will to share in the course of time, then it shall Be.

Well-wisher, friend, lover... whichever one the future holds for us, we can smile in the knowledge that after all is said and done, in some way I love you (and you love me too).  

The Power of Association

Energy cannot be created and it cannot be destroyed, but it can be transferred, and transformed, right?

We continuously exchange energy with anyone, anything and everything we come into contact with, whether on a gross or subtle level. From a hug to a handshake, to catching another's eye or a passing thought, from the level of matter to the plane of consciousness, energy is moving through, pervading and influencing the balance of positive and negative.

Good association is everything.


If we associate with godly people who vibrate at higher frequencies; if by their association we are driven to perform good and selfless actions and to have pure thoughts, in an environment free from contamination, our own frequency is likely to adapt accordingly. The opposite is also true.

Live with the gods and become like a god; live with the dogs and become like a dog. But am I drawn to gods or dogs?

"Each soul projects a magnetic force according to its level of development, and we can observe this in our human interactions....

"The awakened soul, aware of its divine mission of Self-realisation, has an entirely wholesome magnetic force, while an unevolved soul may project a strong ego energy which also has its own sort of magnetism. We all gravitate towards that with which our soul has affinity. We draw to us people and circumstances that are in harmony with our soul and type of manifestation that it is seeking."

Thus it is stated by Dr David Frawley, in his book Yoga & Ayurveda - Self-Healing and Self-Realisation (Pgs 70-72), based on the Samkhya philosophy of the sage Kapila, from whence they spring. Ayurveda, the 'Science of Life' born of the timeless Indian Vedic knowledge, claims that the soul's magnetism is: a power of life - a current of energy that is generated by the magnetic force of the soul; a power of light - a power of insight, wisdom and understanding; and a power of love. Hence the soul is known as Sat-Chit-Ananda or Being-Consciousness-Bliss.

"As we evolve spiritually, the Godward magnetised soul draws to itself divine influences - deities, teachers or experiences - to aid its inner unfoldment. Our soul's magnetism, which is its power of love, brings us into various relationships and links us with other souls who further our soul quality and help us grow.

"The power of soul magnetism is the basis of the yogic emphasis of the guru (spiritual teacher) and satsanga (communion with the wise).

"Yet sometimes the soul draws us to people or situations that test it and challenge its growth as well, just as an advanced mountain climber will seek difficult slopes to climb."

All Risk, No Gain

Only when faced with the critical decision of 'All risk, No gain' does the degree of love and dedication become apparant.

I surprise even myself by how much I love you.

For you I may lose my reputation, and the affection of my family and those I have considered my friends. The place I have considered my home may thus become estranged to me. But none of it really matters. All I care about is that I should not see a frown on your beautiful, moon-like face.

I stand to lose everything to provide what you require. I am willing to make this sacrifice without a moment's consideration; there is no question - if this is the necessity, I consider it my duty and I will execute it with my deepest affection and without a tinge of remorse. Whatever I should stand to lose, it is actually worthless, because you are my all in all.

But if in trying to serve you I also stand to lose your affection? Then still I must make my attempt to serve your benefit, though I may die of a broken heart in the process.

Mother and child; Romeo and Juliet; Guru and disciple; God and devotee... untainted love.

In Indian tradition we give honour by placing our head at the feet of a respected person, whereas placing our own feet over the head of a person is considered an offense to them. The Vedic scriptures utilise this custom to present some fine examples of the highest degrees of self-forgetfulness in the name of love, the highest spiritual ideal.

In the Srimad Bhagavatam we find the Supreme Lord Krsna as a cowherd boy, feigning a headache. He is claiming that only the footdust of his devotees can cure him. Nobody wants to offer their footdust for Krsna's head, fearing eternal hell as a result of this great offensive action. But the Braja-Gopis, the milk damsels, do not care for that, "We do not know if we are devotees, but take it!" Their only consideration is that their beloved Krishna's headache is gone and that he is feeling happy again.

Again in the Chaitanya Charitamrta we find that when the golden Avatar Sri Chaitanya Mahaprabhu fell asleep in the doorway, his personal servant Govinda stepped over his Lord to massage his feet and thus render service, but not again to leave the room in order to appease his own hunger and satisfy his tongue and belly.

We are as safe as we are sincere... because love is above mercy, and mercy is above justice. And true Love knows no separate, localised interest.

Pairs

It is a strange dynamic, that exchange of energy that fulfills.

What draws people together? What pushes them apart? Personalities are living and growing and developing, needs are always changing, and so do relationships.

While relationships may last from a few moments to a lifetime, roles may be ever-changing.

By exposing some personal nature and sharing time, the mellow with a business client changed to friendship, with the introduction of affection and attachment. As brother and sister we found solace in each other's understanding of our views about life and the world, sometimes verging on the teacher-student situation when one's experience surpassed the other's in a particular field. Sometimes I could be as his mother, sometimes as his daughter.

Then a misunderstanding brought about disappointment that could only be experienced by lovers, such intimate affection was there although that exchange had never come by... and then again, we became like strangers.

Days passed. A tall, dark stranger caught my eye, and soon we were lost in words. Much later, he was still holding my hand. So comfortably natural it was, I had barely noticed. We complemented each other, two became one... until cultural circumstance dictated that our affections could remain only on a friendly level, but one that would last.

Any two individuals, a unique relationship.

In Sanskrit, the term rasa refers to the degree of intimacy and sweetness of relationship with the Divine (shanta - peaceful, dasya - servitude, sakhya - friendship, vatsalya - parental or madhurya - conjugal).

It is clear that fragments of rasa are reflected in every relationship experienced in this world, because we are sparks of that eternal flame, the Original Source, cause of all. 'Made in the image of God,' we are similar in quality though not in magnitude.

While it is natural that we are attracted to experiencing these mellows in the here and now, bound as we are by space and time, impermanent is their nature, nobody can deny this fact.

It is said that the Eternal, Krsna (He that is irresistably attractive to all souls) is the origin and reservoir of all rasa to the infinite degree... yet how hard it is for us to realise, and feel!

Thus we continue to search the light and warmth of a candle instead of journeying to the sun.